Reply to Completely Lost It on my Teen DD

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I bet the issue of OP's daughter not speaking to him at all is a greater issue and takes up more of their communication opportunities than the rudeness and swearing.  That would bug me.  Anyone have ideas for how to encourage more communication or a more friendly attitude in general?  [/quote]

The PP with 4 teens.  Honestly, teens are only going to tell you so much.  You have to come to grips early that no matter how close you and your teen become, there will be a communication gap.  And if you press them for information, it only makes it worse.  In our house,  we try to create an open communication environment and it starts with us.  Within reason, very few topics are off limits.  We talk to our kids about OUR challenges and struggles, work issues, etc.  We do not hide info from them and once they hit their teens, we were a lot more open about things  - within reason.  We don't pull the 'Do it because I am the parent and I say so" card.  They are allowed to respectfully ask us "why" with regard to policies and rules with the understanding that we likely will not change our minds. Silent treatments are ok if they need to calm down, but, once they start talking again, we resolve the underlying issue before any other conversation takes place.  Finally, we do not engage if we do not approve of the tone.  At all.  If you want to speak to me, talk to me like you have some sense and I will ALWAYS listen.

They are young adults and we talk to them that way.  Also remember, your kids have distinct personalities and you have to take that into account.  3 of my 4 are open communicators generally.  The 4th (and youngest) will tell you everything is "fine" even if his pants are on fire even and you are standing next to him.  But even he has slowly learned to be more open. [/quote]

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