Reply to 7 yr relationship, no ring yet

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Reply to "7 yr relationship, no ring yet - am I wasting my time?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I've only read the first page of responses so far.

I was in a similar boat with my now husband.  The first year was great, and he used to tell his friends that he was going to marry me. Due to circumstances like me being in grad school, and his job, we were about an hour and a half away for most of the time we were dating (besides summers).  We saw each other nearly every weekend, but I still would bug him about when we would live together and when we would get married. Usually the answer was when I finished grad school. Then when I finished, he still wasn't ready. I gave it a few months after graduation and then accepted a job in the city where I went to school. During this time, I was very unhappy and very seriously considering breaking up. I had considered it for a few years but this was almost the breaking point. However, I contined to do the long distance relationship and one year later, we were engaged. It took 5 1/2 years to get engaged and we were married 9 months later. We now have one beautiful child and another on the way. We are really pretty happily married. I don't know your particular situation, but I do think that guys have some inner readiness clock, and they cannot be made ready before that.

However.... The one thing that may be a red flag is that you dated in college. Your boyfriend has never had an opportunity to sow his wild oats, or experience freedom in his 20's. That could be part of the problem. My husband and I started dating when I was 27 and he was 32. We both had multiple relationships first.

Also, are you sure that he is the one for you, and this is the type of relationship you want. It is not clear from the way that you describe your relationship. Don't hold on only because of the 7 year investment.

Good luck! It will all work out.[/quote]

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