Reply to What is Just Compensation for a "Life Lost"?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why do you feel that you are owed a $100k living? The average salary in this country is less than half that -- for people who work full-time. Most people will work all of their lives and never make close to that, including people with college degrees. [/quote]

In the example above, I would offer that Annie's closest colleague at the firm, also a woman and also her year, did stay to make partner in the Mergers and Acquisitions practice and is now, at age 60, earning more than $2 million/year.  Annie would feel, rightly, that she gave up a future earning $2 million/year, so that George could pursue his future potential (successfully) earning $5 million/year.  That is why she would feel that she is owed a very generous alimony.

As you yourself point out, most people in the U.S. make nowhere near that amount, and would thus not expect, or indeed be awarded, that particularly generous alimony.[/quote]

Still... people don't think spending your days in the spa, gym and country club is a huge sacrifice. She made her choice... family. He made his choice ... money.

It's a bummer... but there are decisions and consequences. Most people want their cake... but the cake is either eaten or stale.[/quote]

In the example above, Annie was not spending her days at the spa, gym, and country club.  [b]She was spending her days taking care of a household and family[/b] that was moving regularly around the world so that her spouse could pursue every possible career opportunity, while his and her children also adjusted and thrived with every step, not an easy thing to do.  If she had not been so engaged, and required to move around, she would have presumably built a successful law practice like her good friend and former-colleague Meryl.  In cases like these, including much less extreme examples of career sacrifice and moves, the career-sacrificing spouse is awarded very healthy, long-term alimony.  And in many cases, the very wealthy, high-income ex-spouse does not begrudge them the alimony because they recognize their ex-spouse's sacrifice and contribution to the family, the children's, and indeed their success.

I am sorry if that was not your experience, or perhaps you are the type that begrudges an at-home spouse for ultimately getting paid more for his or her in-home work than you are paid for your out-of-the-home work?[/quote]

Once the kids are a certain age this is just not true (unless she homeschools). The kids are in school and "run the household" is just lame. Stop making this some telenovela. Some men are nice and give their wives more money than they should. That is fine. But the fact is that she made her decision and she needs to live with it. She could have made other decision if money was her first concern, as it usually is for men.

I am sorry that you feel you need to be paid to care for your own children... that is truly bizarre. You should feel blessed that you got to live off the dole for so long. [/quote]

My good childhood friend was in a marriage which involved sacrifices not-quite as extreme as the one in the example.  She owns a home, completely paid off, in Malibu that must be worth more than $10 million easily.  Her ex-husband continues to pay her alimony, fifteen years after their divorce, of $75,000/month.  He pays all of the property taxes, buys her a new car every three year, and pays for all of the children's expenses including all of their college, law school, and medical school.  I think some of us here just cannot understand that there are people out there who are wealthy enough, and yes, nice-enough human beings, to recognize their ex-spouse's contributions to their success and compensate them accordingly.  In her case, her ex-husband tells us all that he saw her as he would have a business partner, without whom his business, career, and extreme monetary success would never have been possible.  He is in complete awe of the way she raised all five of their children to be great successes in their own right, even if he did predictably move on the a much-younger and blonder trophy wife.  Her ex is from another country and culture, though, which values traditional women's roles much more, so perhaps that explains his generous attitude.

I any case, I do not resent her wonderful life even if I have had to work every day of my life, while raising children, just to afford a modest colonial in Springfield.  Different people get compensated differently for the same work based on luck, location, circumstances, etc., and I cannot spend my life worrying that others are not equal to me or vice-versa.  Besides my friend has been there for me always loyal, kind, generous, even though our financial situations are much different.  I love spending time with her.[/quote]

Some men will pay for somebody to go away quietly, this is true.[/quote]

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