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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Reply to "Single Mom considering job offer in DC - would I be miserable? "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. 10:03 -- Yes, EXACTLY! I will keep my house in Boise. We can return anytime, Boise isn't going anywhere. I'm not even moving anything big -[b] just bringing clothes, toys, and a few other essentials. [/b]This job will most definitely open a lot of doors professionally. Other thing I remind myself is that although day to day finances will be very tight, it's a good financial move in the big picture.[b] I'll be putting $ away into retirement, [/b]there is great health and other insurance (and my older daughter has some perplexing health issues that would be great to get a 2nd opinion on while we are out there), and it gives me internal hiring preference with the feds. I am fortunate that we will have a decent emergency/slush fund as I am selling a rental property this summer. I don't want to burn through our cushion, but it will be there and will allow us to enjoy a bit of travel, some restaurant meals, dance classes, etc, while we are back east. FERC has a Regional Office in Portland, OR, and I'll be working on western water issues. It's a very good bet that I will have opportunity to move back west. And then my girls will have the experience of a big adventure, strikingly different experiences, exposure to diversity and culture that Boise doesn't offer. Those are things I value. When we're ready to come home, or move to a different lifestyle, that's what we do. I'm guessing it's been mostly women on this thread. I had an eye-opening conversation with an old friend last week. When she was 9 months pregnant with twins, and her older 2-year old had just suffered a recurrence of his leukemia, their family moved from "home" (California, near her mom, where she grew up) to New Jersey for a job opportunity for her husband, who had been laid off. She did not want to go, and obviously the circumstances were awful. But her husband really felt they needed to do it for his career. As it turned out, she created a lovely home, and her community (South Orange) turned out to be wonderful and supportive (her son ended up passing away while they lived there). A few years later they moved back home to California. It made me reflect about how men may tend to put more weight on career and women tend to be nesters - even those of us who also invest a lot in our careers. Yes, the security and comfort of home and community is appealing. But I think seizing this professional opportunity is wise, and does not exclude the possibility of a lovely day-to-day life with my kids. Well, that's my hope anyways -- perhaps I am naive. Other thing I may not have mentioned is that I do have a few friends in the area. [b]They are busy with their own families and lives,[/b] but it's not like we don't know ANYONE. And I'm an extrovert! We'll make friends. [/quote] What will you do for furniture? Are you buying that here? That's a few thousand right off the bat because again, everything is more expensive. Forget craigslists for furniture. You won't have the time or ability to run around collecting it and believe me it's competitive to get the nice stuff priced well. You could go to Ikea but that's about an hour away, requires a large enough car to get it home, is heavy to get up and down steps if no elevator, and then it's got to put together in between caring for 2 young kids, working full time, and going to therapy appointments. Saving for retirement? You will quickly drop that down to the minimum amount you can get away with contributing and will seriously consider stopping all together for a while. You could not be more correct your friends are busy. Everyone here is busy. You will find that out quick. You will also discover that friend who live 30 minutes away become "too far" to visit. And if you are in the City, they aren't coming to you either - lack of time, traffic, and lack of parking. Plus their kids have weekend activities and they have friends and family to hang out with. I have not doubt you will complain in short order that "everyone is rude. no one wants to be friends. everything is competitive" etc. If you are white, and have never lived anywhere diverse ( and by diverse I mean a place where the school would be at least 50% non-white), I would again really, really urge to visit here, visit the schools and neighborhood you are considering then make decisions. Diversity is something that might sound good in theory to you sitting in Idaho and never having experienced it. I really urge you to come out here and visit for a couple weeks. You will be miserable because you have completely unrealistic expectations of just about everything.[/quote]
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