Reply to Your opinion on my family's homework policy

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.

Wow, didn't expect this to be so controversial!

First let me clarify a few things:
1) My kids will go to college, but we aren't crazed on them having to go to an Ivy. If they want to, great...if they don't, great.  One of my sons has straight As and is an incredible athlete, and will probably be an Ivy candidate. the other two aren't so driven, they seem like they will be happy with state colleges.
2) We did NOT ignore any emails from teachers.  When I said I received an email showing the missing homework, it was an automated email that comes out of the system. its not a "dear mrs. x" email.  I doubt you can even respond to those emails.
3) the school guidelines indicate that 3 hours of homework is the norm, 4 if the kid is in honors/AP.  Theres no need for me to go to teachers to talk about homework, its accepted as being normal and is well known by all of the parents.
4) My kids don't think rules don't apply to them.  The rules absolutely apply to them--the rule is if you don't do homework, you get a 0.  they have received 0s every time.
5) I don't think our prior state of residence had lower expectations. True, there was a no homework policy, but in most classes, especially in math and science, my kids found the grade level work to be behind where they were when we moved. There was a lot of repeat for them.

Im not a snowflake mom. My kids have chores, are expected to follow rules. My mom is a teacher, my husband is a teacher.

We also have experienced an unusually high level of teen suicide in my district, which has made us re-think our priorities. if our kids get good grades, we want them outside riding bikes, holding down a part time job to earn spending money, playing sports, going kayaking with us, etc.  We are trying to focus on the whole kid, not entirely on their education as their sole being at this point in their lives.  Who knows, but they all seem well adjusted and happy.  I don't worry about their futures.  I think I am a responsible parent, and I think I am training them to be as independent as possible.

I did not tell teachers about our family homework policy.  It is my kids job to communicate with teachers.

Lastly, I did speak with their other teachers, via an email I sent to the entire group of teachers, asking them to give me feedback. Every email was incredibly supportive.  Bottom line, they said "your kid is the least of my worries", that they were good kids, did fine in school, were socially well adjusted, and for me to stop worrying.  A few of them thanked me for putting the responsibility of my kids grades on my kids.  One of them said if she was smart enough to not do homework and still get good grades she wouldn't have done the homework either :)

So, I think for now at least, I will stick with our policy. it feels good for our family.  And I promise, my kids will pay their taxes and return their library books :)  [/quote]

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