Reply to What if your child, who was qualified for their "reach" or "stretch" school, chose not to apply?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  The thread devolved a little bit there at the end, into different arguments about parenting and outcomes, (though you can see how others "emphasize" the Ivy League), but generally I found many of the posts interesting, well-thought out, and quite helpful.  I will come back one day to tell you what happened.[/quote]

NP here.  Will be curious to hear what happens.  It's funny because I think back to why I didn't apply to certain schools and I probably couldn't describe why.  I was in a situation that we couldn't travel to visit a ton of colleges, we didn't have money to apply to 12 different colleges and those were the days before the common application.  I had to pick 5-6 colleges, 2 safety, 2 probably, 1 reach.  My guidance counselor didn't even think I could get into one of my probable colleges. I had worked with another guidance counselor before my parents moved my junior year of high school, and I had an idea of the types of colleges I could get into based on her list.  I did get into my reach school (not HYP but top 15 school) and while it wasn't the perfect college experience, the my career choice, my best friends, meeting my husband post college via our respective college friends all trace back to a connection/relationship made at college.  I agree with the PP that there are many paths to success.  Going to a certain college usually doesn't close all options, it just may mean you have to work harder to break into a certain field or get into a certain school for grad school.  You also can transfer if you realize you aren't happy at your college.

I think as kids get to the point they should be making certain decisions and advocating for themselves, as a parent I try to make sure DC is aware of the consequences of the choice so they make an informed decision. What is really the consequence of not applying to a particular reach school?  Does this school have strong alumni connections in the field and geographic region your child wants to pursue post college and the other schools don't?  Does DC shy away from anything where she may possibly not get chosen and if that is the case can you come up with a reach school that has the feel she wants?

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