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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Conflict around family size"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] With this attitude, theonly response will be, "because your father and I got divorced." Seriously, if you would dump that resentment on a child, you are probably a major nightmare in other areas, too. [/quote] I wouldn't give this answer to my child, but that would in fact be the truth, wouldn't it. I don't know why you are so hell bent on painting the person who doesn't want children in the best possible light, when it is indeed his/her fault that the child doesn't have any siblings. Actions have consequences and you want to pretend this is not so. For this particular situation, the chain of cause and effect would be: husband didn't want any more children. That's why the child doesn't have any siblings. That's why the wife hates him. You're trying to pretend that these events aren't linked. But they are. [/quote] The truth is, the wife can get a divorce. We aren't bound in slavery to our husbands. If you and your partner cannot come to an agreement and it causes such resentment to fester, then it's a sign that you need to get a divorce. If you cannot decide TOGETHER on your course of action, your marriage is doomed. DH and I disagree on things, but when we come to a decision, we both own it. If DH truly did not want more children, I would have to come up with some way to deal with it, and wouldn't "hate" him. If a kid asked me why he was an only child, I would say, "We decided X" or "why do you ask?". I know lots of "onlies" and they don't seem to be as scarred as you seem to think they will be. I wouldn't be surprised if you are actually making your kid feel worse about being an only than he would be otherwise. How awful. The dynamic you describe is a symptom of a serious dysfunction in your marriage. [/quote]
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