Reply to having a hard time accepting DS for who he is

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm sorry so many people have jumped all over you for being honest about your feelings.  I think too many people here are in denial about the degree of narcissism that is involved in most parenting.  One of the most fundamental urges underlying reproduction is the desire to see ourselves reflected in the next generation and it can be a rude shock when that urge isn't satisfied.  Obviously, we need to curb that impulse in how we treat our kids, but it's folly to think that it's not there, and that it doesn't rear its head periodically.

I agree with others that you need to get a little distance/perspective, and try to remind yourself that you are not your child and he is not you.

I have one kid who is very much like me in many ways, and another who is more like DH.  In some ways, I have a smoother relationship with the child who is less like me, but I also "get" the kid whose personality is similar to mine better.  I understand the conflict and disappointment, and I urge you to do what you need to do to resolve it.

But let's not kid ourselves.  Having children is basically an exercise is narcissism and all we can do is try to get a handle on it.[/quote]

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