Reply to S/o How can you minimize the chance your kid will get into drugs in high school?

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Reply to "S/o How can you minimize the chance your kid will get into drugs in high school?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And for God's sake, OP, don't lead with this "I know I'm a prude" nonsense.  You are already coming from a place of weakness when you think that way, and essentially give your kids the idea that if they don't do drugs, they'll be prudes, too.  Come from a position of strength.  I never tried an illegal drug.  I'm not self-righteous about it, but it's a fact.  It was against the law, I didn't want to mess with my brain, etc.  Help them to know that saying no is something to be proud of.[/quote]

[b]I totally agree with this. It is illegal for my kids to drink or use drugs. Full stop. That's how I approach this issue. I would never tacitly or openly condone shoplifting or look the other way if my kids were doing it. As far as I'm concerned, drinking is no different. It's against the law.

The stats are very clear that the older kids are before they drink or use drugs, the lower the risk of drug or alcohol abuse. My goal is to help delay their exposure for as long as I can. (It is also not true that kids who delay drinking are more likely to "let loose" in college--research shows exactly the opposite is true.) I myself did not drink until I went to college, so I know it's not an impossible goal.[/b]  Will I be shocked if my teen drinks? No, but you can be damn sure I won't be happy about it--and he will know that, too.[/quote]

There's nothing "inevitable" about a high school student experimenting with alcohol or drugs.  Will they have the opportunity?  Almost certainly.  Will they choose to try it?  That part is far from inevitable, and it is largely influenced by the messages they've received at home from their parents over time.

Those messages don't necessarily have to involve intense or heavy conversations.  At least in our house they weren't.  It was just a clear expectation among many others.  We were expected to work hard at school, do our best, stay busy with sports and other activities, be good to each other, and make good choices, including steering clear of illegal things like drugs and alcohol.

Specifically, I definitely took in the message that drugs were illegal, unpredictable and could possibly mess with my brain.  Even if my friends were fine, that was no guarantee I would be.  That message made complete sense to me.  Drugs (including pot) were not a risk I was interested in taking, either in high school or later on.

As for drinking, I somehow grew up seeing that as something I would not do in high school.  Again, not a heavy message in our house.  Just a clear mindset I picked up that drinking was something I might try when I went to college, not before.  It wasn't a big deal.  I saw plenty of peers drinking in high school -- I went to the same parties, but I just chose not to "party" that way.  Not a big deal.  [/quote]

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