Reply to WWYD? We hate the name of our foster-to-adopt child

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Reply to "WWYD? We hate the name of our foster-to-adopt child"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Also, however, agree with the pps that you need a serious attitude adjustment about her first mom. She clearly struggled with some powerful demons but that doesn't make her a terrible person and it's bad for you to convey that to your DD. . [/quote]

OP here. Thank you. Foster-DD has both an atrocious first and middle name, so I guess we will give her a second middle name so she can choose to use that. I highly doubt we'll be talking much about her birth mother, but I will not lie - she was most certainly not a good person. . [/quote]

Adoptive mom of three children who had horrible starts to life and member of a large adoption community. You are likely to be surprised at how often you talk about the birth parents. None of my kids remember theirs yet they come up in conversation often. At times one or another will ask 10 or 20 questions a day for a few weeks on end. Birth parents don't disappear, no matter how bad they were. And PP is very wise. Just because someone struggles greatly in life doesn't make them a bad person.

I am shocked at how you are villifying your prospective child's mom. I am all for honesty and I have never made up love stories about my kids' adoptions. But I never knew their parents or walked in their shoes so I would never convey that I thought they were awful people.   [/quote]

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