Reply to Husbands: do you secretly wish your SAH wives bought in a paycheck?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm wondering why, in the high HHI scenarios being spoken of here, this is an either/or -- either the meals are cooked, house is clean, kids are cared for, clothes are washed/dry-cleaned, stress is low, and wife stays home, OR meals are takeout, house is messy, kids are on their own, stress is high, and wife works.

If you make a lot of money (let's say, top 1% in DC area) and wife's income would be "fraction" of yours, wouldn't you be able to outsource everything (nanny, cooking, housekeeping, laundry, errands, etc.) so that both of you work outside of the home but don't have to to the grunt work at home? Seems like this would actually be the ideal scenario. Two working parents in a high-income household minus the stress of cooking/cleaning/laundry/errands, with the added security of a second income for the "just in case" scenarios? [/quote]

I am the pp who quit when the kids hit school.   We tried that because I really liked my career -- we had a live in nanny and once a week housekeeper.    We could keep things going for a while but the travel that DH's job entails makes it really difficult, even with the help.  I felt like I was always "on" either at work or at home.   (I'd frequently have to work at home when the kids went to bed which I found very tough). We also had some random hospitalizations that made us want to slow down.    I wish I had the stamina of Sheryl Sandberg but I don't!   If you are in the right industry it can make financial sense to have one spouse take on a big job and one spouse stay home.   We've been at this a while and have a far higher HHI and more savings than if we both worked at a 40 hour a week job and constantly had to compromise our careers.[/quote]

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