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[quote=Anonymous]NP here.  BTDT!  My DH moved here after grad school because I insisted that we live near my family.  He turned down a few jobs in other cities over the years. He became VERY resentful even moreso with every work problem and seeing folks he knew thriving in other places while he struggled.  15 years later  - he is doing better but I know a part of him wonders... And I know that this caused him not to try to develop a relationship with my family.  He resents them.

OP, I think some of the PP's are right. If you dig your feet in the ground and make this just about what you want, your DH will resent you in short order.  The first thing you should do is make your DH feel like you HEAR him - really listen to him. Sit down with him and listen to his pros and cons and consider them.  Him feeling like he is being heard (and not ignored or dismissed) will make a difference.  Also be prepared to make your case to him about how staying here is best for the family that you two have together - taking into account his career. You cannot just say "damn your career, I am staying with my family."  You have to address his career concerns head on and make him feel positive about the decision.

I learned the hard way.  Asking a man who is not from here to live his entire working life here when he wants to be elsewhere is going to be a significant issue in your marriage.  So you have to jump on it now. [/quote]

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