Reply to Husband wants to move for job, I don't

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is no way I'd move to CA. I am a SAHM, DH would be off at work all day every day and I wouldn't know anyone. It has taken me a long time to build up a group of friends here in DC, and I want to be closer to my family. I don't get along as well with my in laws, and they're not very good with the kids. Not interested in being involved grandparents. If your DH has been laid off, or was miserable at his job and couldn't find another one, then you'd have to think harder about it. Uprooting away from your family and friends just for a litt more money is not at all worth it. His parents can come visit you.

I think Hax or Dear Prudence took a question about this and the answer was the SAH parent gets veto power because it would be horribly isolating to be home without the support network. [/quote]

What?  I don't understand this concept that a SAHM needs a support network more than any other type of mom.  I also don't get this idea that somehow a SAHM needs to be near family more than any other kind of parent.

If you're isolated because you're home all day, you join groups and meet people.  Guess what?  There are just as many moms groups in CA as there are in VA.  Not to mention, once kids are in school, if a SAHM is that isolated and alone and bored, she can get a part time job somewhere.

No, the SAH parent doesn't have greater veto power because he or she will be lonely.  Guess what?  Working 40, 50 hours a week, sitting at a desk, can be pretty isolating, especially if you feel you are in a rut at work, like it sounds OP's husband is.

It's comments like that that make people say crap about SAHMs, this idea that they are these delicate creatures, more in need of support and social stimulation than other moms, the idea that because they don't work, somehow their family and the social network they've cultivated is more important than the family and the social network of the working parent.[/quote]

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