Reply to I'm the step mom--do I get a vote?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, also, because it is so early in junior year, can DH make an impression on her that it's really important to pick up her grades this year, right now? Junior year grades are probably more important that any other year -- if she has an upswing in grades. Also maybe look at GPA requirements for some state schools, visit a few. Pay for an SAT or ACT prep class. Get her interested in the process. [b]I can't tell from your post if 2.7 is all she is capable of if she's under performing. [/b] [/quote]

I don't know how to answer that.  She's always been a C student.  She goes to a private hs (not locally) and they bend over backwards to make sure she passes.  DH put our home phone down as her contact info.  I get the calls that say she has not turned in X,Y,Z assignments, failed a test, did not participate, etc.  And then the school provides opportunities for her to pull up her grade.  Every single semester, this happens.  She is in danger of failing but if she turns in A B C, then she will pass.  I know her mother works with her and tries to give her the leeway to take responsibility for her academic career, but so far, it has not gone well.

[/quote]

I reread the OP, and then I reread this follow up from the OP. I do not blame OP for not wanting to spent $40-50k a year for this student to go to a school with a reputation for accepting underachieving slackers. Later, the OP mentioned that her SD has ADHD. It sounds like perhaps she is not getting the educational support that she needs, including study skills, actual guidance counseling, any sort of accountability for her failure to perform academically. I do not think it is unreasonable to say something along the lines of "SD, we would love to pay for you to go to college, but we have received X, Y and Z phone call stating that you failed to turn in homework, that you failed a test, that you are not participating in class, etc. We are happy to help fund your education, but we are not willing to spend $200,000 so that you can continue to not complete your assignments and fail your tests."

Because given what the OP has said, that's exactly what will happen. I do think that this is something that needs to be discussed between OP and her husband and then between her husband and his ex-wife, but I think that OP's opinion is both valid and also correct.[/quote]

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