Reply to Would you be upset with your husband over this?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Because it's assumed the high libido in question will lead him/her to meet their needs elsewhere. If the low libido person wants to stay married, they need to put out.[/quote]

If you're really worried about this then clearly you married the wrong person.  Sorry you ended up with a cheater.
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Leaving isn't always about cheating. It is leaving because you have a spouse who rejects you, hurts you and doesn't care about your happiness, satisfaction or needs. It about feeling unloved, unwanted, disrespected, unappreciated and insignificant. It is about knowing that your relationship (the marriage) and what is important in a marriage to you is not worth the other person's time, energy, or attention. It is those issues - sometimes related to sex, sometimes related to other areas that lead to the person leaving. People who have sexless marriages or where one spouse is a refuser aren't people in great marriages. Most people who cheat don't say they had a fantastic marriage where they were appreciated, and respected and there was just not enough sex. 
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When my husband pressures or guilts me into doing something I don't want to do, he is demonstrating over and over again that he puts his own needs above mine.  He doesn't care about me, [b]he just wants to use my body for his own physical pleasure. [/b]It's incredibly selfish.  How is that a demonstration of love or respect and how does it improve our marriage?  
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No offense, but the issues in your marriage are not about sex.  They are MUCH deeper than that.  Besides that, the bolded part shows that you and your DH have a very unhealthy perspective about sex generally.  [/quote]

Not at all.  Anyone who pressures their spouse into having sex, full well knowing that he or she isn't into it, isn't performing an act of love. It's an act of selfishness.  [/quote]

It's also an act of selfishness to withhold sex. What part of "to have and to hold" don't you understand? Marriages are meant to be intimate. If it's not, then you are just roommates.

I'm not saying spouses must have sex whenever one of them wants it. But to never or rarely have it when on spouse wants Otis just as selfish as the one always wanting it.[/quote]

Now, you're finally starting to see the point.  It's just as selfish for the high-desire partner to expect that his or her needs will always be met as it is for a low desire partner to constantly withhold.  So why should the low-desire partner always be the one to acquiesce?  The spouse with the stronger drive has just as much responsibility to make accommodations and his or her failure to do so has repercussions that are just as serious for the health of the marriage.[/quote]

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