Reply to My husband destroyed my cell phone and I called the police

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP. I have a few minutes and wanted to provide an update. We had a 2 hour emergency counseling session with a LCSW last night. She advised the I should re-book my trip and go on the originally planned travel for the remaining part of the week, assuming that I could get childcare covered since these are different days than I originally planned to travel. She said this would help me gain part of my dignity back in the sense that I would have the freedom to do something that was agreed to between me and my husband, and that it would be part of my husband's restitution to me. This is not what I expected to hear, so I am a bit surprised. She has scheduled an individual session with my husband, and an individual session with me and then with both of us next week. She thinks we should not be sleeping in the same roof right now, and that that means alternating (sometimes me leaving, sometimes him leaving), and that we should only communicate via email, ccing her on all communications, for the immediate future. I also had a one hour session with a domestic violence counselor, and have a follow-up next week. We didn't get very far, as it is hard to cover that much in a short session, but I explained my goals for seeking counseling (i.e. to understand if and why I am in what I perceive to be an abusive relationship) and we have a follow-up session next week. I also have made calls to three recommended lawyers, but having a hard time getting calls back on that front. I am not sure what I am doing yet regarding the trip. It seems wrong to me to leave at this juncture, but for whatever reason this counselor thought it was important. I will try to answer some of the other questions asked and provide an update later. I very much appreciate everyone's responses, and am just ignoring some of the ones containing vitriol towards me. [/quote]

What did your husband say about her suggestion that you go on the trip?

Would you confide in your friends that you were planning to travel with what has gone on in your life? Does anyone other than the cops, the social worker and the people on this thread know about this dynamic in your relationship?

For me, telling my mom about my abusive relationship was the hardest thing. I knew she was going to be so sad, because that's never what anyone wants for their daughter. I felt like I'd let her down by failing to recognize how serious things had gotten. Like you, I've sat at dinner hearing my phone buzz in my purse over and over. You stop looking after the first two because you know it's NOT the emergency text you thought it might be at first, but every buzz makes you feel worse. Later, you explain it away by saying things like "The kids were having a particularly bad night" to yourself, until later, it just becomes normal. "That's just how he is," you think.

I ask because it sounds like you are pretty alone in all of this. [/quote]

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