Reply to My husband destroyed my cell phone and I called the police

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "My husband destroyed my cell phone and I called the police - next steps? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote]No, it wouldnt have been something else because OP's relationship with her girlfriends (whom, I am sure, she considers much superior company to her husband, as they probably went to some "elite" HS or something) is one of the major triggers for his anger episodes. She knew this, yet insisted on some weird arrangement that would be over the top for most of the rest of us whose husbands have no issues with our friends.[/quote]

Over the top? I have a 1 and 3 year old and went away for a few days this year with DH's blessing--it was a hugely needed break for me and a good time for DH to do some solo parenting.

I don't get the vitriol flung at OP. And, OP, I get where you're coming from: I too went to an all girl's school, ivy league,yadda yadda. Yet I was in an emotionally manipulative and abusive relationship before I met DH. I ignored those red flags early on, and at first you just accomodate, you do what you can to avoid "triggering" the hostility, jealousy or rage. But there's no controlling it and it did escalate to the point where I knew I had to get out for my mental--and perhaps physical--well being. But I too felt enormous shame--how could I have allowed that to happen, etc. Just ditch that worry and anxiety now. Manipulators are excellent at manipulating! And, if you are a high-achieving, "people-pleasing' type of person--perhaps even with some self esteem issues in spite of all that achievement, you're more likely to be attractive to manipulators, who know that you will try hard to make peace, to accomodate and that you will find it very hard to let anyone know what is going on. That's why you can pull off a flawless presentation after not just a night of no sleep, but a night of bizarre, and painful controlling behavior on the part of the person who is supposed to love and protect you. And of course, you do see now that it was in part BECAUSE you had a big presentation the next day that your husband was in part acting like this? I'm willing to bet that much of the control has to do with his feeling threatened by your success or independence.

good luck. I do not think you reaction was at all over the top, given the history. I think you should move on, but very carefully. Living on eggshells is no way to live and the sign of an unhealthy marriage, no matter what your husband may try to do to make you doubt yourself (which is a classic tactic!). [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics