Reply to Fitting into Upper Income Neighborhood Or Where Should Live/School

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know this is something of a beaten dead horse, since it has been covered in many similar threads, such as:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/105/309642.page

We live close-in now, and are at a public elementary, but we worry about our family not fitting in.  There is lots of family discussions about exotic vacations, private schools, and folks dressing well and driving nice cars.  As a whole, the parents are great and all seem interesting and more or less on-level; we know us parents will have no probably relating in PTA etc, and kids are young enough now that really we have no complaints.

But we worry down the line, when our kids become most obviously some of the have-nots in the class; we've heard about the effects of growing up with less than your peers and now it cause issues later on.  And end of the day, it would be nice to 'fit' in to the community and the school and not feel a bit like interlopers.

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I can't even believe I am reading this.  You are so worried that your precious child might feel like a have-not that you are desperate to move?  That is ridiculous.  You can't shield your kids from stuff like this.  They will always have less than someone else.  If you are a 200K family I would bet your do fit in, income wise, with the other families at the school.  What you need to do is grow some self-respect and not care so much about the Joneses, and teach your kids to do the same!

When I was in middle school, I went to a nice private school inside the Beltway (VA).  We probably had the median income of anyone else at the school, but one day, I confessed to my mom that I felt poor because we didn't have a BMW like everyone else, we didn't go to the Bahamas for Spring Break, etc.  We had a Chrysler K car.

Mom had some sage wisdom, and I've never forgotten it: "we have enough to buy a BMW, but we choose to put our money in the bank."  That was huge for me -- it gave me the self esteem to realize people make different choices with their money (some show it off and some put it in the bank), and it showed me I did belong there because we could afford to be there, even if we didn't look like it.

All you need to do is teach your kids that.  There, just saved you $1M for that home you don't have to buy.

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