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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The career! I want to use my brain and feel smart and successful and independent. I don't need a man to give me $.[/quote]

Me too! I applaud your ambition. FF 10 years and let's go crazy and say you have 5 kids. Two ambition driven careers expecting crazy hours is not a work/life balance. Reality. Kids need parenting which usually mean females mommy track or SAH or they marry less ambitious males. Just my opinion.

Advice to young women. Think about this and choose your path.[/quote]

What's your advice to young men? Since they're parents too (if they are parents)?[/quote]

I'm not the PP, but the advice I give my sons, who are 23 and 20, is to consider the possibility that they might be the primary caregiving parent for at least some part of their parenting years.  The background here is that they have both said they appreciate the way DH and I worked together to make it possible for me to be a SAHM when they were little and then work part-time for many years.  And they've both also said they'd like to marry someone who would be willing to be a SAHM.  I've told them that I'm glad they liked having a parent at home, but they'll need to work this out with their future spouses and that the decision will depend on many factors that they can't even anticipate at this point.

This was certainly the case for DH and me -- we met in law school and never dreamed that we wouldn't both work full-time, but with 3 kids and no family nearby we found it very hard to live the family life we wanted when we were both working 50-60 hours/week.  We decided that it would be best for me to be a SAHM for a while and later to return to work part-time.  We were lucky to be able to swing this financially, but, of course, most families can't do this.  Even if you can, as I've told my kids (youngest is a DD still in high school), the default shouldn't be that the mom stays home, but that you make your decision in a thoughtful and loving way.               [/quote]

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