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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The above is true if it came to a divorce, yes.  But what OP did, by putting that money away in an account only in her name, is protect herself from being destitute and unable to retain a good attorney in a divorce should her husband decide to leave her with nothing.  She has an ATM she can hit.  Because this was a joint mortgage, and her account was apparently at the same bank as the jointly held mortgage, her husband got away with this.  I doubt it would have worked if her stash had been at another bank.  And I doubt it would work with respect to anything other than the mortgage or, possibly, a jointly held credit card.  It would not be legal for her husband, during the marriage, to just start writing checks from an account only in her name, and no utility company or other business would just access her funds on his say-so.

Personally, I don't have much problem with what OP did, and I am not a SAHM.  The work she does at home is work which is worth money.  It is not clear that her husband was allowing her access to marital funds, or to what extent.  I didn't see any reference to their having a joint account.  All of the money her husband brings in is marital.  And so, over time, she skimmed bits of it from the budget, and put it away in her name -- just in case.  Sure, it would be better if these two were more open and honest about their finances and had a joint account and everything was like a hallmark card.  But it obviously isn't, so OP played the cards she had been dealt to the best of her ability.  I don't share in everyone's condemnation of OP.

OP, my advice is to take your emergency account TO ANOTHER BANK.  Do not tell him or anyone which one you choose.  Or give it to a family member, a close friend -- anyone you absolutely trust.  Or, buy a small, fire-proof safe deposit box, put the cash there, and hide it somewhere he would never look.  No, it won't earn interest.  But, using any of the above strategies, you won't be forced to make any more mortgage payments, either.

What is up with people on DCUM.  [b]Why isn't anyone asking why this GAINFULLY EMPLOYED MAN couldn't pay the mortgage? [/b] Isn't that part of the deal?  She works at home, keeps it clean, takes care of the kids, puts dinner on the table.  He pays the mortgage.

Stop dumping on OP.[/quote]

maybe it's because his wife has been squirreling away money behind his back, thereby depleting the account he planned to use to pay the mortgage?[/quote]

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