Reply to Any moms regret quitting their jobs to stay home?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I work full-time and have a 5yo and a 3yo.  I had been very back and forth about what the right choice was for our family, but I'm glad I kept working.  No, we don't have fancy cars or a fancy house, we don't have a housekeeper, and we take one vacation a year to the beach, but we do have lots of college savings and 401k savings and regular savings.  My husband and I also went through a period where he had made a really bad choice and I thought we might actually be divorcing and when he told me, the very first thought that popped into my head after the complete shock had worn off a bit was "THANK GOD I KEPT WORKING."  Certainly not saying to always plan for the worst, and you know your spouse best, but ever since then I know that for me personally, I feel more comfortable making an income myself and knowing that I can ramp up my career to make enough to support us should something happen.

I don't love my job, but I really really like it.  And I'm good at it.  And I look forward to my career growing after the kids don't need me as much.  I made the right choice for MY family (note, I'm making no judgement about the right choice for anyone else's family - it's certainly possible to have lots of savings with one parent staying home and it's certainly valid if you value staying at home over saving for college and retirement - your choice).

Now all that said, if my DH made $500k, here's what I'd do.  I'd keep working.  Either part-time or full-time really.  And I'd have a housekeeper to do all the boring stuff, I'd start work late enough that I could drop the kids off at school in the morning and have an excellent nanny that I'd pay well to pick the kids up from school and play with them for a couple of hours until I got home.  Heck, I'd probably have someone make us dinner too.  I'd have a house right next to my work so I had no commute.

All the bad things about working can be done away with with money, particularly when the kids are in school all day anyway.  That sounds like an awesome life to me anyway :)[/quote]

OP here. I took extended maternity leave with both children. I took 6 months off with the first and almost a year off with the second. Any leave after the first 12 weeks (maybe 13 or 14 with accrued vacation) was unpaid. I basically make less than I did when I first came out of grad school. I used to have a much more demanding job before I had children. That is also probably why I find my current job unfulfilling. It is not challenging, not demanding and frankly not that interesting. It does keep my foot in the door but I just keep feeling like I am not loving work.

We currently have a great preschool with extended care that we are very happy with. The kids are well socialized and we are overall happy with our childcare arrangements. Both DH and I probably leave earliest from both our jobs since we rotate picking up the children. There are so many other activities that we don't do because we simply cannot commit. Soccer, t-ball, art, music, etc. all come to mind. Since our kids are younger than age 5 it was fine but I feel they would need more extracurriculars in the afternoons as they get older.

We have discussed having a full time nanny/housekeeper but we both strongly prefer that one parent is home in the afternoon. DH is against having a live in. We both don't like the idea of some young kid driving our kids around. Since DH outearns me, it makes sense for the parent who should do this is me. It would be nice if DH could coach soccer and t ball but it probably won't be possible. However, I could take my son to soccer or help him with his homework after school. I would be sad if we outsourced these tasks that I truly would love to do. I would love nothing more than to have my children's friends come over after school to have a snack and have a playdate. We can never do this since we work.[/quote]

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