Reply to has anyone on here terminated due to a positive T21 result?

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[quote=Anonymous]I am the poster from page 1 with the SN brother who will outlive me.  Just so  you understand, he won't be able to toilet himself, feed himself, shower, walk, or put himself to bed.  So we're talking pretty severe here.

And it's not only about the effect this has on the mom and dad, although that is very serious.  It's also about the burdens my brother has to live with.  My parents work very hard to give him a good quality of life.  But the poor kid.... suffers in many respects.

It's also about the serious responsibility this leaves for the rest of the family - not so much me, however.  I am only his half sibling.  His full siblings are significantly younger than I am and are the ones who will be charged with his care in a few years when my parents become to old to handle his needs.  It's a daunting thing for them to have to face.  And a terrible thing for my parents to know they've saddled them with.

We all LOVE my brother very much.  Of course we would never do him harm.  We will all participate in ensuring his well being to one degree or another.

It's sort of like.... let's say you marry and have kids and then your spouse turns out to be a horrible person.  If you could go back and do it all over, do you not marry them?  But then you don't get the kids you have.... and you wouldn't trade them for the world.  So it's a catch 22:  Your ex is the worst thing that ever happened to you, and also the reason for the best thing that ever happened to you.  I can't wish my brother unborn.  What I CAN do is learn from the life experience in my family.  Knowing that I am not capable of the herculean efforts my parents make (I can't even lift my brother, my dad still can for now).... knowing that I wouldn't want to burden my other kids with a disabled sibling IF it can be avoided.... knowing that my brother's existence is sometimes painful to him.... knowing the almost impossibility of ensuring for a SN child's financial future.... knowing that I personally might die before my SN child and therefore be unable to ensure his/her well-being... I wouldn't continue a pregnancy that was likely to result in a similar situation.

My fear was so bad I didn't want to have a second child.  I got one that was healthy; I didn't want to roll the dice again.  (Pregnancy 2 was accidental.)

I understand that some people with Downs have a great quality of life.  Again, best wishes to OP and others in such situations, making difficult decisison.  [/quote]

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