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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Reply to "Questions for any Adult adoptees on here "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] Anonymous wrote: I don't use AI--except when attempting to AI-proof assignments for my integrity-challenged students. Anyway, I was responding to the poster who keeps going on about the victimization of the birthmother and the problematics of the adoption industry. That is, I was simply pointing out that there wouldn't be any industry to begin with if people weren't selfish and irresponsible enough to produce babies for whom they are unable/unwilling to care in the first place. Are there moral issues related to adoption as a practice? Sure. But as my own adoptive parents once pointed out, every kid born to such parents is at risk: no one else is obligated to take on the infinite and gargantuan responsibility of parenting a child if the birthparents are unwilling and/or unable to do so; and while would-be adoptive parents have to jump through a million hoops to prove their competency as parents, it's the right of birthparents to spawn at any time, even if they happen to be meth addicts whose previous ten kids already had to be placed in foster homes because of neglect and violence. I call this a fake post. Every adoptive parent knows that the industry is abusive and birth parents are being pressured. Adoptive parents do have to jump through some hoops, but not a million. Adoptive parents are more educated on the topic than the general public. There is no way a real adoptive parent would use such hateful language about birth parents spawn. Very very few women have 10 kids and even fewer have 10 in foster care. Adoption is born out of a loss. You can’t acuse a birth parent of abuse or neglect.[/quote] Not the PP you were responding too but even though their language was a bit harsh, some of the observations were quite accurate. The amount of flyspecking that we had to go through in the adoption process--- the amount of background materials, references, financial and health information, submitting every address you had ever resided at---was quite something. And while I know that there is a very good reason for wanting to make sure that adoptive parents are going to be healthy, financially stable individuals of good character---emotionally I did feel a little resentful like the PP. And yes, PP's language towards birth parents was a little tough but I knew of cases (we adopted internationally) where [b]poverty stricken severe alcoholics produced 7+ kids [/b]only to have each one taken away for neglect and abuse. Our DC was also [b]completely abandoned by the birthparents[/b] after being removed from their care. And for the anti-adoption folks who just believe that all birth parents can become loving competent parents if provided enough "wraparound services" ---that view is naive. There are some people who[b] just do not want to be parents [/b]and there are some people who are [b]incapable [/b]of being decent parents.[/quote] Am I the only one who gets a yucky feeling when adoptive parents talk about their child’s birth family like that? This poster is trying to put themselves on a pedestal [/quote]
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