Reply to I didn't fully comprehend the cost of eldercare

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is why my plan is to kill myself if I get in this situation. I’d rather leave my money to my kids than burn through it all myself.[/quote]

A lot of people think this, but the truth is by the time you’re anywhere near needing 24/7 care, you’re well past the point where you could make and execute that decision. Just functionally in most cases, ethics aside. [/quote]

A cautionary tale: my MIL told FIL years ago that if she would k—- herself if she should ever get a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s.

My FIL was so afraid of her threat that he blatantly ignored her rapidly progressing cognitive decline and waited 2 years to have her see a GP and then insisted that she NOT be told anything about her condition. All the while MIL has agnosognosia - she’s unaware that there’s anything wrong.

MIL is now in mod-severe stage and FIL refuses all outside help. He’s done nothing to help her - no safety accommodations in their home, no enrichment activities, zero insight on disease progression- he’s in deep denial and a bumbling idiot. Meanwhile, MIL rots in front of a tv, wanders around the house, goes without bathing or showering for a week or more…[/quote]

Honestly, the whole idea of enrichment for dementia patients is so over the top, as well as safety (except safety of others of course). As long as she doesn’t burn the house down and/or suffers from any pain, she is fine. FIL is saving you tons of money on care. 
And, dementia patients rot by definition. 
Nothing matters at this stage except safety of others and comfort of the patient [/quote]

+1. Your FIL is keeping your MIL alive, which is incredibly difficult work day after day. You try it for a week and see for yourself. Be prepared to spend for full time care when he can no longer shoulder this burden, and then thank him for saving the money for as long as he did. [/quote]

Most FT caregivers die before or soon after their partner.

As soon one parent died from Alzheimer’s, the other was getting dementia. It’s very common as are strokes. The stress is bad.

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