Reply to Partner and I can't agree on a surname after marriage and now I'm wondering if marrying him is even worth it.

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Reply to "Partner and I can't agree on a surname after marriage and now I'm wondering if marrying him is even worth it."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If he was surprised by the conversation, his first reaction may not have been the best reaction.  Don’t blow this out of proportion.

[b]Double barrel names aren’t common outside of certain cultures and they can be a burden.   [/b]

This is a good chance to use communication skills that will serve you both well in marriage.  Good luck![/quote]

Long live the patriarchy, right?[/quote]

OP has a man's name either way. Either her husband's or her father's. Why is she so attached to her father's?[/quote]

This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read on dcum, and that’s saying a lot.

Hint: it’s not “her father’s name”, it’s HER OWN name. The same one she’s had her entire life.[/quote]

DP. It's a fair point. Dad's name became her own name. If she takes DH's name that will also become her own name. Both names were passed down under this patriarchal tradition. Even if you change to your mom's maiden name (I had considered doing this when my parents got divorced), that's still your grandfather's name, and so on. Unless you make up an entirely new last name, whatever you pick was a man's name first. So keep your maiden name or don't, but women who choose to take their husband's name aren't promoting patriarchy anymore than women who keep their maiden name from their father or grandfather.[/quote]

DP As a practical matter, changing the name on your birth certificate is more difficult than not changing it on your marriage certificate. Also, your birth certificate name selected for you by your parents is not the same as  your married name selected (hopefully) by you. [/quote]

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