Reply to Grinders and strivers and curators, oh my!

Forum Index » College and University Discussion

Reply to "Grinders and strivers and curators, oh my!"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am now starting to see that many of you think “grinder” just means hard working, so maybe I better be careful about using it pejoratively. But I still don’t think that’s what most people mean when they use the term[/quote]

Agree that most people do not use the definition "merely hard working" for "grinder". Clearly some here do, but I doubt it is the most common meaning. [/quote]

+1. But even amongst the people claiming that grinder means merely hard working, I don’t think most of them truly believe that. I think they realize that the negative strivery, grinder behavior being described here hits a little too close to home. And they feel the need to try to redirect it to “oh they’re just jealous because I/my kid are hard working and more successful.”

I can understand being confused by the term striver the first time you hear it here but after that it is pretty obvious what it refers to. We’ve all experienced strivery people in our lives, and if you haven’t, you might be the striver.[/quote]

When someone calls my immigrant parents strivers because they pulled themselves up from almost nothing, yes, that hits close to home. I am proud my family is a bunch of strivers. [/quote]

Your whole family went to an Ivy?[/quote]
huh?[/quote]

You clearly don’t know the definition of striver.[/quote]

NP: As with most words, there are several connotations of the word "striver." The negative connotation is what most people are talking about here, which is not just an ambitious person who works hard (standard definition), but in the slang version, one who does so ruthlessly with an uber competitive streak that often involves a win at all costs, cheating, stepping over other people attitude. Also, one who does this to achieve not their family's survival or life's passion or even just a living  wage, but to obtain the most prestigious-seeming shiny object in the category (college, job, car, zip code, etc.) simply for the sake of saying "I'm the best because I have this shiny object, and you don't." Pure ego. Generally dispised people, and not someone you want in your class or on your team.

Similary, a "grinder" could simply be someone who is on top of their game, making money, accomplishing goals, getting an education and career; but, used in a negative slang way, and as in popular songs, it means someone whose means to these ends are not desireable, such as using and dumping other people along the way, ignoring all other aspects of life (family, genuine friendships, responsibilities to others, etc.). So that kind of grinder is someone who will win at all costs, and the cost usually means hurting other people or themselves, as by failing to take care of anything but work. It's the kid who only studies and the adult who only works. Often these people achieve the goal only to find themselves lonely, dispised, and fundamentaly unsatisfied with life.

Truly, both words are now almost exclusively used in the negative sense, with more positive words for the other meanings like, accomplished, succesful, hard worker, leader, team player, etc. One who strives for success by grinding away, but is neither a striver nor a grinder.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics