Reply to My niece lives with us and recently got engaged — navigating changing family dynamics.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why did her parents not make her get a job? I wouldn't just have her move out, I would make life at home unappealing until she got a job. Curfews, mandatory 6 am wake up, no good TV, no grocery requests, no spending money, flip phone, she gets 3 hots and a cot but aside from that life becomes bare-bones. 
 [/quote]

No, she is an adult. [/quote]

Adults take responsibility for themselves. They don't just "choose" not to work and mooch off relatives in exchange for minimal household chores. And they certainly don't expect to invite their fiance on other people's vacations.

She can be treated as an adult when she acts like an adult. [/quote]

She's still an adult. You can't force her to wake up at 6am, or not watch TV. You can't continue to boss your adult child around by manipulating them because their still financially dependent. Being financially dependent isn't what makes someone an adult, age does.[/quote]

Yes you can wake people up, it's called Being Very Loud.

This isn't OP's child and OP has no obligation to support her at all. So if this overgrown teen wants to live in OP's house, OP can make any rules OP wants to. If the girl doesn't like it, she can move out and choose to get a job. [/quote]

She has a fiance with his own apartment. Why isn't she living with him? [/quote]

Maybe they are religous/conservative?  Lots of couple don't cohabitate before getting married.[/quote]

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