Reply to What American "cultural" things you don't do or allow your kids to do.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I will go first.

- No sleepovers.  I have held 1/2 sleepovers...(kids wear PJ's, have fun but get picked up at 11:00 pm).

- No dating in HS.

- No carpools for my kids.  We did offer rides and ran carpools for our friend's children if they asked for it but never for mine. [/quote]

I'm curious about the no dating in HS thing.  How do you prevent your 16 year old, for example, from having a boyfriend?  She is out of the house at school for a large part of the day, and then presumably is allowed out with friends at least occasionally.  How do you prevent her from having a romantic interest, which is so natural and normal at that age? [/quote]

My kids were high achieving and liked being in a very demanding and rigorous  academic program (4th -12th grade).  However, they had  very little free time for romance.  Between ECs, sports, volunteer work, field trips and academics, my kids had an insanely long school day.  Weekends was usually competitions, tournaments, travelling, homework, test prep, catching up on sleep, socializing with friends, leisure time and family time.  Also, students in their cohort were as busy as them - so there was no one who was really dating. Maybe one or two couple.  I am sure romantic interest and crushes did happen but there was no time to act upon them.   
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Did you go to school with your kids? Did you go with them to socialize with friends? You have no idea of they acted upon romantic interests. 
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Yes, I did.  I was very involved in the school so I knew what was happening at the school. Plus, dropping them, picking them up, being at home with them, tutoring them. [b]They were socializing mainly with same gender friends [/b]within their programs and the parents were also those that prioritized education. I know it is hard for you to believe  but there is a group of immigrant kids (you know those who play the violin,  win robotics, hackathons and Math competitions, program apps, have perfect GPA and ace SAT,  win spelling bees and science competitions, write research papers and start non-profits) - who just have a different aim in life.  Also, they are leaning on parents for logistical support and so they are always under the watchful eyes of parents. [/quote]

This is taking me back to high school prom... not immigrants but in a deeply conservative southern state. We went as a big friend group which obscured to our parents who was coupled up, then all the girls had a big sleepover at our friend's house which our friend's mom told our parents was fine. Except friend's mom didn't mention she was out of the country that week. And there were boys there. And it also provided excellent cover to the Very Christian Girl who wasn't going out on dates or anything because she was actually dating another girl. All the adults thought they were just best friends. [/quote]

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