Reply to Obgyn pushy about hurrying to conceive at 39 .. I thought this was not an uncommon conception age?

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm a mom of two who were born when DH and I were 41 and 43. Having gone through becoming a parent at a late age and seeing most of my friends who decided to have kids as well, I originally very much like you do but have learned so much. Nearly everyone I know who had children in their late 30s or early 40s needed help from a fertility clinic. Probably half did IVF while others were able to get pregnant from an IUI, clomid or other method. Almost all my women friends had some pregancy complication - premature birth, pre-eclampsia, gestational diabetes. I can assure you that when you see women in their mid 40s having healthy children they likely went through many IVF cycles, used frozen embryos or frozen eggs, or embryo adoption. A natural pregnancy in your 40s is very likely to end in miscarriage (I had 2); a natural pregnancy resulting in a live birth after age 43 is very rare. I do know a couple people who were born to older moms this age or older but they were the last child of large Catholic families...their moms were very fertile in the first place. 
Also - my clinic told me their success rate (meaning a live birth of a healthy baby) for women 40-42 was 16%. They told me they thought my odds were more like 35-40% because my hormone levels were much better than average for women my age. On fertility forums women who are successful in their 40s may chime in a lot, but the ones where it never worked out are not likely to be lurking in fertility threads afterwards. What you see on DCUM is much more likely the lucky ones. 
So get on it OP if it's important to you. The decline of fertility at 39 is STEEP and REAL.[/quote]

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