Reply to How to handle separation from a man I’m attached to?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I can tell you how this is going to play out.  Your 'boyfriend' is going to stay for a while because he is getting laid frequently and he will enjoy your attention and also provide attention back to you (just enough) in order to continue the intimacy.  I'm not saying that he doesn't like you, but your need for closeness will eventually crowd him and push him away and it seems that he is already putting down boundaries to make sure that this doesn't get out of hand for him.  You may try to suppress your need to be close at all times, but that's not really you and it will show up in anxiety and you will seek advice from friends and strangers on the internet on what to do.  Your best bet would be to go to therapy with someone very qualify in attachment disorders who can help you identify the root cause of your issues.  I also do not believe that you spent 20 years numb and half dead.  There's more to the story and we are not hearing your husband's side.  I truly feel sorry for you because unless you get help for yourself, this will be a never ending cycle.  You mentioned that you are in your 40's, but your story reads like someone in their late teens or early 20's.  It feels like you stopped growing and developing as an adult in your teens and you still have this same mindset.  It sounds strange for someone in their 40's.  I strongly urge you to get help.  You seem financially well off and it should not be an issue to find a qualify psychologist to assist with these issues though it may take YEARS to work through them.  [/quote]
Thank you for taking the time to write this. I actually feel much better today, on day 3 after our trip. I do think that my body produces way too much dopamine and oxytocin when we are together, and that’s why I feel awful for the following two days when the hormone levels drop, it feels like a withdrawal.

We’ll see how my relationship with my boyfriend develops. Thus far, it’s been really good when we are together. [/quote]

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