Reply to Hardy/Deal vs Arlington middle schools

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are facing a similar decision to OP. We live EOTP and have never had luck in the lottery. Both of our kids are strong students and one will be starting MS in the fall. We love DC and don’t want to leave. Our eldest DS has a lot of freedom in our neighborhood to walk around, meet up with friends, and we think this gives him a sense of independence and confidence you can’t get everywhere. We went to an open house for a middle school in the suburbs and were surprised at how the school talked about the kids getting there, crossing the street, etc and addressing parent concerns that seemed suited to kids much younger than MS age. I’m worried my kids will end up a bit sheltered and stifled. But it may be worth it for the better schools and the certainty. [/quote]

We moved from Capitol Hill when our eldest was 11 to Arlington, about a mile from Ballston. Our kids walked to high school, took ART and metro buses and Metro all over Arlington and into DC on the weekends. Neither of them bothered to get their drivers license until they were in college because it just wasn't necessary. They weren't sheltered or stifled at all.

I truly didn't want to leave DC, but almost everything about our lives got easier when we moved, without giving up very much. My commute got longer, but only by about 15 minutes each way. DH's commute was shorter.[/quote]

Oooh this is the most compelling thing I’ve heard. Tell me what got easier in your life. And were you able to make new adult friends? We are so settled in our DC neighborhood that I am having trouble envisioning the move. But our inbound MS is terrible and I’m tired of the constant lottery uncertainty. [/quote]

I'd move to Arlington before sending my kids to many of the DC neighborhood schools.  Sadly.  But don't let this poster fool you:  your life virtually anywhere in Arlington, including the area of the county that this poster is describing, WILL be decidedly more suburban and less interesting than anywhere in DC other than Upper Northwest and your kids' upbringing absolutely will be more sheltered.  The experience that OP is describing -- not getting drivers' licenses, bussing and metroing by themselves all over town, etc. -- is the minority.  Most Arlington parents don't allow that.  And no Arlington kids who we knew ever metro'd into DC on weekends by themselves.  In fact, most didn't go to DC ever.  Maybe things have changed, or maybe OP and her family were unicorns because they moved to Arlington when the kids were older, but most Arlington parents simply don't -- or didn't, at least -- engage in the free-range parenting that she describes.

How do I know?  We raised our kids there.  Lived there for decades.  We now live in DC.  [/quote]

Appreciate the counterpoint. These are the issues we are struggling with. I grew up super sheltered and driven around by my parents in our exurb until I could drive myself. We deliberately moved somewhere my kids could have some agency and autonomy at a young age. I know there’s probably a middle ground between our current situation and the one I grew up in but I have these visions of moving to the suburbs and my kids becoming these boring kids who just get carted around from one travel sports practice to another and otherwise spend the rest of the time snacking and gaming alone in our house. The autonomy they have right now gives them so much confidence, especially one of my kids who otherwise tends to be a little anxious. And I think, on balance, it outweighs a bit of the school downsides around here, and that being more responsible and confident helps them advocate for themselves and know they are capable of doing hard things. But I know we could try hard to carry this over to the suburbs if we find somewhere our kids are still able to walk/bike/bus/metro to at least a few places on their own. [/quote]

I understand.  And I'm certainly not doubting the sincerity of that poster's post or the experience of her particular family.  But I'd be stunned to hear that it's now anything close to the norm in Arlington.  If anything, I'd guess the situation that I described is "worse" because if anything the county has gotten more wealthy than it already was when we were raising our kids there.  Having a metro nearby doesn't make a neighborhood "urban."  Arlington may be more dense than most suburbs, but it's the suburbs and people live like it's the suburbs.  A mile from the Ballston metro is 100 percent suburban.  [/quote]
I have a kid at Dorothy Hamm and I'm located about a mile from the Ballston Metro.  My kid is really independent because everything is so close. They bike to school everyday. They bike to the central library to get books. They bike to Washington-Liberty for swim practice. They bike to a local field for rec flag football. They bike to their piano lesson. They bike to friends' houses to study. They bike to their scout meeting. On early release days, they usually end up at Starbucks at Lee Heights with about half of the middle school.  (All of these locations are walkable, my kid just prefers to ride their bike.)

We haven't quite gotten to Metroing downtown yet as an 11 yo, in part because I'd want them to be in a group with friends and I don't think any other friends parents would allow that right now, but they absolutely get around our part of town really independently.  It's very different than my experience growing up in a suburb where I would depend on a ride from my parents.[/quote]

You are describing a suburban existence.  I know the Starbucks you're talking about.  It couldn't be more suburban.  Not to mention that most city kids in middle school don't hang out in the local Starbucks.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with any of it.  Just saying that it ain't city living.[/quote]

Can you say more about city living that you appreciate for your kids? I thought the independent movement and places to go to within walking/transit was the point but it sounds like you are talking about something else. Where do city middle schoolers hang out if not at a local coffee shop?[/quote]

Maybe it's simply the density of options in the city.

We live in Shaw and have a middle schooler at BASIS. They are just starting their independence (they do metro to and from school), but I can see how the city is shaping their lives. the student body has a culture of commuting all over the city to each other's houses, they can leave campus at lunch and then sit on memorials, eat at the Kogod Courtyard, stop by MLK library to work, and choose from like 20 different restaurants and 10 different coffee shops to hang out at. They all are extremely good at navigating around the city; not just getting from point a to point b, but seeing th city as a whole and seeing all of it as accessible.

They visit the museums all the time and know how to use them as a resource, to extract information that they can use.

They look around and see the Capitol every day. They have cross country and track practice on the national mall. They are commuting alongside all the DC workers; they are not cordoned off in a side suburb but are right in the middle of things.

They learn how to navigate around criminals and see some real s***. They develop street smarts. I understand this can be seen as a con, but it's a difference.

The Arlington life described seems fine and I'm glad the kids are trapped by cars, that they can walk and bike. However, they are walking and biking around a suburban area. It's a high quality suburban lifestyle. And that is totally fine and I can see that it's easier in many ways.

[/quote]

Ballston is almost certainly denser than Shaw in terms of housing ….[/quote]

Yea, mostly high risers renting to bros who invade the Wharf and 14th Street on weekends.  They're not "dense" with kids in the public schools.  Arlington households are among the lowest percentages of families with children in the country, and this is especially true along the Orange Line. [/quote]

Not quibbling with you per se but the comparison to density in the Hardy/deal portion of the city is a fair one.  It’s way way denser .. with kids … than upper upper NW.  [/quote]

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