Reply to MIL keeps competing with my mom for time with my kids

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "MIL keeps competing with my mom for time with my kids"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t think it is YOUR job to make sure grandchild time is equal. Grandparents don’t have “rights”.  I would not listen to her jabs about your parents. Call her out. “Lillian, why would you say something like that?” Is her snarky talk reserved for you only?  I suspect you are too polite.   Going forward, communicating with grandma is your husband’s job too.  Next time you want to invite her to a kid event or dinner, i[b]nsist that he do the asking/coordinating[/b]. [/quote]

If he wants. I would say “DH it’s Larla’s spring show next Tuesday, if you want to invite your mom” and let him decide. Honestly a lot of these men seem well aware their moms are awful and that’s why they’re not the ones engaging, have respect for the views of the one who spent his whole childhood with this person. You don’t think she just now started making petty comments do you?[/quote]

What kind of coddling does your husband need? He doesn't know when the show is? Needs to be told to invite is mommy? [/quote]
So which is it? So many mixed messages in this post.

Let’s say I open my kid’s backpack and see the note informing us about the spring show.

Do I just… not tell my husband? No, of course I inform him.

Now, do I nudge him to invite his mom?

If I nudge, I coddling

If I don’t nudge, it’s excluding MIL

If I invite her myself, well, that’s DH’s job

But I’d DH doesn’t, then he is a dud and I should have just invited her myself

But if I do, that’s my DH’s job

And if I don’t, then I’m deliberately excluding her

The wife just can not win no matter what she does. She will be blamed either way! [/quote]

The grandparents don't need to participate in every fart your kid has. Dial it back a notch.[/quote]
It was one example. Insert whatever pleases you: first birthday party, championship game, violin recital, graduation, bris. Whatever. [b]The truth stands that the woman never wins.[/b] [/quote]

Play stupid games, earn stupid prizes. I'm serious - why are you trying to "win"? And at what?

I've always let my husband deal with his parent. I feel no guilt about that, they're his parents. When they tried to guilt me I made it clear to all of them that I was not involved and they could talk to their son. As a result, I suppose I "won" in that I didn't have to deal with them, but I wasn't looking to win, I was just looking to establish boundaries.

Who cares if someone blames you? Seriously, when my MIL complained about me not having dinner ready when they showed up unexpected on a work/school day one time I couldn't have cared less that she was upset because it was ridiculous. So stop trying to win whatever game it is you're playing. If you didn't do anything wrong, then don't be upset about it. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics