Reply to MIL keeps competing with my mom for time with my kids

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[quote=Anonymous]I think some of you must have pretty young kids. Because as they hit teendom, they will decide for themselves to a large extent how they are going to spend their time. They are likely going to want to spend time with the relatives who have shown an active interest in what they are interested in. And this will also end up naturally adjusting how you spend time with extended family.

In our case, that is neither my dad and his wife nor my in-laws. My aunt and uncle are the people who invested enormous amounts of time and energy with my kids. They are the ones they are excited to see. Because they have been willing to engage in toddler TV, Lego, Marvel Movies, manicures, shopping, Starbucks, etc. over the years. My aunt can recognize Kendra Scott necklaces now. We have a long standing joke about my daughter dying to meet Olaf and then melting down when she got to him so my uncle took the picture with Olaf alone. My aunt listens to Alex Warren because my daughter introduced her to his music. We have tons of shared experiences with them that can overcome teens dying to be on their phones. They meet my kids wherever they are in whatever phase of life they are in.

You don’t have to agonize over this. My husband has done A TON to effectuate time spent with his parents. I’ve never had to pick up the rope, because he is great at it. I care about my in-laws and my daughters love them. But truthfully, his parents want to come over, give them a hug and then talk to my husband about old people that live in their small town. My kids are loving and polite but quickly exit. It isn’t the amount of time that is really relevant here.

The real answer is to just let the complaints roll off your back. And decide whether you really want to effectuate a relationship that your husband doesn’t seem to care about. At some point, your kids will decide what relationship they want.[/quote]

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