Reply to No sex drive and dh and I argue over it constantly!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I wonder how many of the wives throwing their hands up in the air and saying it's just normal menopause have tried HRT or other medical care? You say you just don't feel it? Well, I'm 59 and some days I just don't feel like doing my work. If I don't show up to my meetings and turn in my projects, my boss will fire me. So, I talked with my doc about it and I'm now on a plan that is working so that I can produce work and get paid, which is what grown ass adults do. If my husband felt tired and bored of his career like I do, I'd be livid if he just stopped bothering to work and get a paycheck. If he decided to stop eating right and exercising to stay fit and instead drank a 6-pack ate chicken wings and pizza daily, I'd be pissed. If he hadn't been willing to get ED meds when he started to have trouble staying hard, he and I would have argued over it constantly. He's a cancer survivor, so believe me, we know that sex takes a backseat when you're sick or in pain. But neither of us would just drop the ball on the other if we could do something about it. Stop being selfish and do your best to be a good spouse and life partner. [/quote]

i've:

gone on HRT.
gone on testosterone.
gone on different HRT.
tried swapping other long-term meds, like my hypertension meds, in hopes of reducing my ahedonia.

i have sex on occasion and in different ways but it's not enough to be willing i have to feign enthusiasm in just the right way or else I spoil the mood for him.
oh and i'm sexual violence survivor so frankly, sex is frequently just ... not appealing.

so basically, in order to try to make my husband happier sexually i'm significantly and systemically increasing my risk of clots, strokes, and heart failure as well as increasing my cancer risk (estrogen-receptive breast cancer runs in my family). cake... or death?

oh and we have a 5 year old and now I have no telework anymore so i'm just freaking exhausted all the time.

he's not gotten a paycheck in a year but i'm still doing about 75% of the chores and 60% of parenting + all the mental load ish like figuring out summer camp or dr appointments  or activities signups. and yeah he has a dad bod but he's still handsome to me. i'm not pissed at him for his industry tanking or his lack of exercise like you suggest I should be. but i am damn tired. [/quote]

Yeah, this isn’t a sex problem. This is a marriage problem.[/quote]

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