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[quote=Anonymous]I’m going to assume reasonably good intent for all parties. For OP, your husband is perhaps a benevolent moron (at best). Unfortunately, you have not insisted on him spending more time with his kids long ago (or left his sorry butt). But here you are as someone who has accepted a major parenting role.

The fact that your husband isn’t seeing this as a major crisis is horrifying. I would sit him down and basically say “your daughter is going off a cliff and you are going to work rather than trying to grab her before she jumps. You need to work a reduced schedule. You can work during the hours she is at school. And that IS IT. You need to be making her breakfast in the morning, driving her to school, picking her up from school, finding shoes to watch together, take her shopping, take her to Starbucks, etc. Spending time with her has to be your full time job. We are also going to see a family therapist together to get suggestions.” And if he refused to do that, I would ask him if he wanted a second divorce.

I’m imagining my husband and I if my daughter was going down this path. He would likely default to punishment, which might or might not be a good approach. I would be telling him we were both going to stop work for 3-6 months and move to our beach house where our kid doesn’t really know anyone and we were going to do everything in our power to connect with her while also taking away her phone, locking up the keys, etc. While he would likely be shocked at my suggestion and see it as extreme, he would quickly agree with me ( although perhaps with some compromises). We would also definitely push for more treatment of ADHD and perhaps in patient rehab if we thought she was addicted.

She is self medicating. You need to see that. Meet with therapists that specialize in ADHD and addiction. Get their thoughts. [/quote]

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