Reply to Tips for dating with "niche looks" in my 40s

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you are getting a lot of grief here OP.

You sound super cool and I would want to date you if I was 5 years younger.

I wonder if you actually want a relationship though? Are you lonely? Do you like sex? Do you see yourself ever living with anyone?

I feel like you do need to get past a lot of your initial pickiness (with the hobbies etc) and open yourself up to a wider range of types. The kind of woman who might value you might be very different, like a younger blue collar woman who wants stability. [b]AND you should have kids with her because I am pretty sure you would love it and kids are awesome.[/b]

Also - I get the sense that you don’t feel much vulnerability. That to me means that you ought to out yourself more in the role of a caretaker in the relationship.

I’m really curious to know more about how you have related emotionally to other relationships- in your family and the shorter romantic relationships you have had. [/quote]

No no no, OP should not have kids. He's said he doesn't have the patience for them, and he can barely tolerate a girlfriend's emotions. How do you think he'll respond when young children have meltdowns or get emotional over things he deems irrational? How's OP gonna react when he has to give up BMX because it's not a smart thing to do when you have a family depending on you?

Plus, even if he met his dream woman tomorrow, he'll be mid-40s before he has his first child. That's WAY too old. He'll be pushing 70 by the time the kid graduates college.[/quote]

Well yes I would want to know more about what he means by not having patience. If he gets angry at his toddler niece and has a short temper, then no. But I see some hints that OP is the kind of guy who could really flourish as a dad because of the project-based aspect of dadding. [b]Like the one dad with the tats and the baby in the carrier at the brew pub.[/b] OP likes projects and a baby is the ultimate project!

The more I think about this though the more I wonder if the answer might be to move. In DC OP probably sticks out a lot. In Oakland or Philly he would have much more of a tribe. [/quote]

There's really nothing endearing about a grown man bringing a baby to a brew pub.

Also, it's a terrible idea to have children because you want a project. That kid will end up with SO many problems. [/quote]

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