Reply to Is it normal not to love your elderly parent who is not abusive or mean?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My dad died of alcoholism when I was 14. My parents divorced when I was about 4 and my mom did her best to convince me he was a worthless, untrustworthy, lying, loser. Then shipped me off to his house every other weekend. I hated it. I had no room, nothing there, no bed, nothing. It was awful. Then the summer I turned 14 it occurred to me that maybe my mom was wrong. I made a concerted effort to spend the evenings talking to my dad instead of trying to avoid him or spend as little time with him as possible. I learned a lot about him that summer. Two months later he was dead and I was so so so glad I took the time to try and get to know him a little.

My advice to you—get to know your dad. Play card games or whatever and just talk. Record his stories or have him write them down. Get to know your grandparents through his stories. Ask him about Xmas traditions, what school was like, changes in technology. He’s not saying anything interesting because you’re not asking anything interesting. [/quote]

Feeling the way I feel comes exactly after about 2 years of deep conversations with him! We used to be close when I was a child, then grew apart when I was a teen (there was some disappointment on my end), then we were distant and I really tried to get to know him once he moved closer. 
Unfortunately *there’s nothing there*
There is no wisdom, there’s astonishing lack of self awareness, there’s just an old, scared man with an outdated worldview.
He has trouble keeping his house clean too (I have to clean) so I think physical repulsion adds to it.
-OP [/quote]

I understand how your cleaning his house is creating resentment.
Could this be outsourced?[/quote]

I’ll think about it.
It didn’t make sense initially because it’s actually like 1-2 hrs every few weeks but maybe it’s worth it as I am tired of all the grossness [/quote]

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