Reply to DD terrified to go to school due to classmates behavior. How to proceed?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This sounds very hard and upsetting. I’m sorry for all the kids in this class, including that student who is having a hard time- he’s dealing with something and it sounds like it isn’t being addressed.

While I agree this sounds frustrating and your daughter’s education should not be derailed by the behavior of others, this is also a time to help your daughter learn how to deal with her anxiety. If her process is to get so worked up and worried, then this is an opportunity to teach her how anxiety works and how to manage it. Expect the worry to show up, help her realize that worry won’t “go away” it’s learning how to expect it, put it in the back seat and let your daughter decide what she wants to do- her worry doesn’t driver her decisions for action, she does. Take the anxiety out of the driver’s seat. In this case, this kid will have a fit again. Your daughter will be uncomfortable, she can expect that. The key here is what she does with it- what can she tell herself- yes, ok there is my worry. Of course it’s there. Thanns, I don’t need you now. I’m ok, my teacher is here, I don’t like it but I can handle it- I can quietly hum to myself, I can draw on my paper, I can sing a song in my head, I can tell myself that the teacher will handle this.

If her process at 7 is this anxious, it is likely going to come up another time, another way- once this boy goes away, her worry, at some point will come back with another trigger. That is why you don’t “treat” or avoid the trigger, you work with you child on how they sit in the uncomfortable situation.

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This is a feasible approach where the anxiety is disproportionate to the actual thing being feared.  But here OP's kid is being placed in an unsafe and chaotic environment daily.  This child isn't wrong to be upset.  She shouldn't have to just suck it up and take it.   :roll: [/quote]

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