Reply to Question for anxious parents: what are you truly afraid of?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Peer group matters a lot. Obviously, there are smart kids at every university, but[b] constantly being surrounded by driven & accomplished peers breeds a natural desire to excel and succeed.[/b] And as parents, we all want our children to succeed, no matter how we individually define 'success'; for me, it's defined by how my kid sees it, and they want to aim for an elite university.[/quote]

... or a climate of stress leading to headaches and panic attacks. I am a mother in Palo Alto and we have in DD's high school what you think you're seeking for your DC. However, these "driven & accomplished" peers are relentless in their drive, and have ground down my DD's confidence as she feels she can never measure up or amount to anything because she is not giving Ted Talks, hosting podcasts with 1 million listeners or bringing the lost art of Chinese opera to American youths.

It's awful and she is seeking a college that is "chill" and "normal" where she can breathe.[/quote]

POLY and Gunn are not the most cutthroat schools in Silicon Valley.  At least not so much compared to Cupertino schools.
But Palo Alto schools are full of ultra wealthy families, particularly POLY.  That might be part of the problem (Tedtalk, podcast).[/quote]

I’m based in the Bay Area but travel overseas for work. From what I see, what’s happening in the Bay Area is likely to become the norm in many places globally. Our kids are competing with global elites, not just others in the U.S. I am not really sure being "Chill" is going to be helpful[/quote]

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