Reply to Am I expected to set up my kids’ rooms at STBX’s house?

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Reply to "Am I expected to set up my kids’ rooms at STBX’s house?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you are hostile and uncooperative.  You need to find a way to work with him and communicate with him for your children's sake.  If you want to use their rooms as an excuse so they cannot have overnights or visits, that's hurting your kids.

Send him to pottery barn, crate and barrell or a company with free design services and tell him schedule an in-person or online appointment and they can guide him and the kids through choosing furniture, bedding, etc.  Tell him the kids sizes and what stores to take them to.  Its about your kids not you.

My husband's ex was horribly hostile to him and used the kids to get at him.  (she had the affair, not him, he tried to stay for the kids and ignore it).  He's a great husband and father, but even with our kids, he has no clue the sizes and other things as we divide and conquer on who does what and I do the shopping for everyone including him.  Could he figure it out, sure, but at this point, so could my teens but I would help for our kids sake.  I've seen the outcome of parents fighting and one keeping the other parent from the kids.  None of his adults kids are in healthy relationships or stable.  One is going through their own terrible divorce and he's in a horrific custody battle with a woman exactly like his mom.  [/quote]

No she isn’t.  Take your issues to your own thread and stop projecting them onto OP.  She is under no obligation to decorate her ex husband’s house.

—NP[/quote]

You don’t get it and that’s why you are divorced.  It’s not about him, it’s about the kids and supporting them.  This will have a long term impact on the kids and how you behave now the kids will model later on and that’s the point.  They will repeat this in their own lives.  If you love your kids, you do things you don’t want to for their sake.  [/quote]

What is wrong with you??
No.
It is not OP’s responsibility to step in wherever XH falls short. Ever heard of weaponized incompetence? It sucks, but OP can make clear to the kids that when they are with Dad, it is his responsibility to take care of their needs. 
Now, if there are a few items that the kids can bring from Mom’s to Dad’s in order to feel more at home, that makes sense. But not OP’s job to go in and snowplow everything.

Also:
1. [b]A lot of dads ask for split or shared custody in order to reduce or avoid paying child support, not because they truly want to parent. [/b]
2. Men in general seem to have different ideas compared to women about what items are necessary for a house to be a home. “Decorating” is not required. Getting by with basics and choosing not to go to Pottery Barn and getting all the trendy stuff is not a failure. I would hope that the Dad will do some things to make the house more welcoming for the kids, but if he doesn’t, he will reap what he sows.[/quote]
+100
OPs ex seems to fit this[/quote]

We don’t know as no one here has seen him parent or talked to him. It’s just the normal anti men moms who want to cut the dads out for more money and grumble the dads do nothing when they aren’t allowed. [/quote]

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