Reply to Are there things people can say or do that you can’t really come back from, even with an apology?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Regarding apologies, a lot depends for me on who soon they apologize and the nature of the apology.

I once had a friend absolutely refuse to apologize for some unkind things she did for over a year, and then the apology took the form of "I'm sorry you misunderstood what I meant." That was a situation where the apology actually made me dislike her more, because she'd worked so hard to avoid giving it and then when she did it wasn't a real apology, basically telling me it was my own fault if I was upset. Nope. She is responsible for the words that come out of her mouth and she had a year to clarify or explain. Also if something I do causes a friend distress, I will apologize for causing the distress even if it was totally unintended and due to a misunderstanding, because I care about my friends and don't want them to feel bad.

Some people have no capacity for taking responsibility for their own behavior. Also, some people freak out at the idea that they might be at fault or even just partially at fault for something -- they will blame everyone but themselves. It's just immaturity. I don't have the energy for it.[/quote]

All of this. PP, we could be friends. [/quote]

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