Reply to Breaking up with my toxic mom group (Ashley Tisdale essay)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know one womens group that doesn’t eventually break up or splinter, for various reasons.

Even if they get together on occasion they are one big happy organism feeding positively off each other. They are many groups of 2 or 3 loosely connected to others.

Also friendship wax and wane that is life.

How do you get past 25 years old and not understand this. [/quote]

Yeah.  I kind of thought she really shot herself in the foot here by breaking off with every member of the group.  She should have just spent more time with the people she got along with and less time with the larger group.  [/quote]

It’s weird to be half in and half out with a group. Better to have a clean break.[/quote]

No group does everything together. We have a large friend group in our neighborhood and not a single event has everyone at it because people do have other things going on in their lives. I can also do things with some of the members of the group if I want. It's not a monolith. [/quote]

This isn't really that deep. The other women were just not good enough friends to want to tolerate any BS. If she felt slighted or ostracized she doesn't owe friendship to one or two of the women who were basically acquaintances or randomly sent her flowers then ignored her. This was not a lifelong friendship. It has run its course.[/quote]

That's fine. I just think it's dramatic to say you have to break away from the entire group because some people don't like you. Just don't hang out with them then. [/quote]

If your "friends" are planning a group outing at your kids birthday right in front of you, not including you, they aren't very good friends. These people suck and the posters bending over backwards to explain it away or blame the people who don't stand for poor treatment sounds a little nutty. It's ok to move on and make new friends, these people sound pretty awful. [/quote]

It's fine if you want to read the more dramatic version of events. The way she wrote it she didn't explain how she "knew" they planned the other event while at her daughter's birthday party. I think she was being overly sensitive (which I get, she had a young child/children at the time and that's exhausting/draining). That doesn't mean she has to be friends with these people. If you don't want to spend time with them, then don't. I just think she, and many of the posters here, are being very dramatic. [/quote]

I have seen people plan events right in front of me. I am not deaf and I doubt Ashley is either. I didn't expect to be included because I didn't know the group that well but they were literally planning it so I got up and walked away. People are so wrapped up in themselves they do things like this. Why are you cutting the friends slack but not Ashely? She has to explain how she "knew" vs just taking her at face value? Why are you finding it so hard to just take her word for it?[/quote]
It’s because PP is one of those Queen bees and this is striking a nerve. [/quote]

No, it's not, and I responded to the above question. I am not a queen bee, I've never planned an event in front of someone who wasn't invited, I don't use social media, I don't invite 9 out of 10 moms to an outing, etc. I'm just a 46-year old who has never encountered behavior like what is being described and it all sounds ridiculous to me. I imagine the truth lies somewhere in between.[/quote]

Wow. You just have a limited imagination and limited amount of experience to draw on. Ask yourself why it’s so hard to see that people get treated badly by other women sometimes. It should tell you something that other women are chiming in with their own experiences but for some odd reason you’re ignoring and discrediting them. Because you’ve never seen it.[/quote]

Ok. Because the story of the person who was seated next to people at a party who were discussing an event she didn't expect to be invited to was super compelling? Got it.[/quote]

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