Reply to Starting a new role soon and family is expecting "financial gifts"

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[quote=Anonymous]Do not share your salary, your job title, your promotions, your new purchases, your vacation information. Nothing regarding money. Nothing.

I know you want to share, you are proud of yourself (you should be), and want them to be proud of you. But to them you are a bank. You cannot get ahead with your debt and other lifestyle wants if you allow them to cross this boundary, be co-dependent, and so emeshed.

I have BTDT. My two siblings constantly asked me for money. My mother asks me for money (a lot of money). In the past I helped them out of guilt, but it just never had an end in sight so I started saying no. There was anger on their part, but I have my own debt, my own kids, my own mortgage to pay. I work super hard. I had had enough.

I was very hurt by the way they treated me after I started saying no. But it showed me how they really viewed me . As $$$$$$.

It doesn't matter if it is cultural. You are under no obligation. Talk to your friends about your good fortunes, vacation, new job. Do not share with your family. It is what it is, you know it, It sucks but that's the deal.[/quote]

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