Reply to How do some women land amazing, caring, reliable, attractive guys?

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Reply to "How do some women land amazing, caring, reliable, attractive guys?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree it's helpful to know about someone's family but what you describe does not always hold true. Two of the best guys I know have terrible families and some totally selfish a-holes have great families.[/quote]

Divorce in the family tells me when th going gets tough going is an option.  Solid marriages mean when the going gets tough they stick through the tough times.  This is important to me.[/quote]

What are tough times to you? Addiction, personality disorder, cheating? There are plenty of image conscious people who stay unhappily married and raise their children in dysfunction while telling them it’s normal and teaching them to avoid feelings and emotions. And then their kids either realize the harm and distance themselves at even more personal and emotional cost or recreate it in their own families. Divorce is usually a symptom of dysfunction being addressed in some way. Staying married can mean there isn’t dysfunction or there’s dysfunction that isn’t being addressed, which usually means the adults lack the emotional capabilities to address it and that says a lot about their parenting.

Regardless, no person is an extension of their parents’ decisions, upbringings, personalities, etc. Everyone has agency and identity and is capable of making their own decisions and building their own life. [b]To see someone simply as an extension of their parents and family is simplistic. [/b][/quote]

+1. Glad my DH married me even though my parents are divorced. Imagine if no one good would consider me just because of my family background which I have no control over.[/quote]

I’m happy for you.  For other people, like me, you’d be out of the running.  It is why it is - not everyone thinks like me.  I actually broke up with a really nice guy because I found out his father left his family and suffered from schizophrenia.  Because schizophrenia is genetic I didn’t want that possibility in my children or grandchildren. I wish him well and hope he found happiness.  He’s just not right for me[/quote]

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