Reply to Can I charge my hourly rate for helping parent?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your sibling has no standing to sue. NONE whatsoever.

Please pay yourself honestly, if your father agrees and this is something you really need.

I will note that for most of the middle class, adult children would never dream of making their parents pay for their help. I have never actually heard of such an arrangement as yours. My best friend and her husband and teen spent multiple weeks sorting through their mother's stuff before moving her to assisted living, paying for sundries, etc... and none of that labor was paid.

I find your nickel and diming a little distasteful, but if you're desperately in need of money, and it makes your father have a more attentive and willing helper... sure, go ahead.

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[b]You’ve got to be kidding, PP. The OP is suffering lost income. Why should she foot that bill to the benefit of the do-nothing sibling(s)?? [/b]This is a way for her to be recognized by their father for the extra care and time she is devoting, while at least one of her siblings does absolutely nothing. As a parent, I’d want to reward my child for making extra sacrifices beyond what the other children are doing. And as a parent, I’d feel like less of a burden and less like someone just taking taking taking from my child. It would feel good to give something back. And OP’s father can apparently afford to do just that.

This isn’t doing the dad’s taxes. [b]This is ongoing, substantial, detailed, hard and sometimes exhausting work.[/b] If you haven’t been there, you can have no idea what it’s like. [/quote]

+1 This exactly. You can stfu,  previous PP if you haven't been there. I have a dear friend whose time is consumed by taking care of both elderly parents, one with dementia and one fragile. She had to retire early and she "pays herself" which means that her parents agreed and have the means and are deeply appreciative. (They even gave her a car and include gas money!). Her sibling is relieved and agrees to the arrangement.

Of course we all do this out of the goodness of our hearts too, but this is a job we are talking about. There's no reason not to earn income if all/most parties agree. Would you work for free? [/quote]

But at $80/hr? Is the nice sibling OK with that? Unless OP's father is wealthy, it's going to make a significant dent in his inheritance and at the end, maybe both siblings of OP will be bitter.

In principle, I agree with compensation for the sibling who is working for their elderly parent. The way my in-laws have set this up, the sibling who is doing the most care is getting a larger chunk of the inheritance. But if we start to get into counting hours and dollars... I think that opens the door to nitpicking later.

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Who cares if siblings are bitter?  The dad is alive and is choosing to compensate his very generous and caring daughter for part of the time she gives him to care for him.  They are not doing any caregiving, so they need to get over feeling entitled to his money.

And the people who are nickel and dining OP over it being $80/hr…you think the level of care a daughter provides is even remotely comparable to what you’d get from someone on Care.com for $20/hr?  Give me a break!  It’s absolutely worth 4x that if that’s the income she’s giving up to do it, and she is trusted and reliable.  If he can afford it, why not?[/quote]

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