Reply to Friend asked to stay at our house with another friend when we are not there.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It seems strange that she’s specifically asking to visit when you’re gone. Did she recently divorce and wants to stay there with a new BF?[/quote]

I’m not the op, but that’s a logical assumption. [/quote]

It’s gross that she literally asked when WON’T you be there so she can plan to be there then. That’s really offensive and very different from “can we come x dates? Oh, shoot you won’t be there then? Any chance we can still use it?” She’s planning around not seeing you. [/quote]

This. Very rude. I'd have to think hard about this request. It would depend on how much I'd want to support her in whatever she's going through.[/quote]

Um…you mean you’d have to evaluate whether or not to support your friend?

Nice.

I’m baffled by the overwhelming response that asking to use a friend’s vacation home is audaciously rude.

It’s fine to ask a good friend…and it’s fine to say no. But most normal people would let a good friend use their place if it was available.

WTH is wrong with people? Dcumlandia is so weird. [/quote]

Op - it’s less that it’s her and her kids it’s more about asking when I’m not there so she she bring another friend rather than just coming to stay with me. [/quote]

Op, you've perfectly explained it here, and don't listen to anyone who says it's not anything other than completely rude to ask someone to use their vacation home SPECIFICALLY when they are not going to be there, like as a prerequisite for using it.  It's very blatantly saying "I want to use your house but only if you are not there too" and it's so ridiculously rude.  I would be tempted to respond  something like, "you mean you want to go to my vacation home but only if I'm not there?"  and let her apologize and rephrase and then say "sorry, that won't work for us".  I also would realize that this person doesn't actually like you very much and I'd stop hanging out with her. [/quote]

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