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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are of Chinese descent. We would never invite anyone to our house and expect them to pay hefty for entertainment or anything, or leave them out for group activities we initiate. That’s just inconsiderate and rude. I am appalled by this thread.[/quote]

If we include you in a family activity, we treat you as family. Period.[/quote]

My family is of Vietnamese descent, and my college-aged son has invited his white girlfriend to join us on a four-week vacation to South America starting tomorrow. My husband and I will be traveling with them, and we plan to treat her like family. She’ll be flying first class with us to Buenos Aires, staying at a five-star hotel, and enjoying whatever activities my son and his girlfriend choose, all at our expense.  My husband has also given my son a platinum American Express card to cover any spending expense between he and his GF during the trip. From what I've seen, this young woman is humble, kind, and considerate, and I could genuinely see her as a future daughter-in-law. I just hope my son doesn’t screw things up. Regardless of the activities, we’ll treat her like part of the family, and whether they choose to share a room or have separate accommodations is their choice.  After all, they’re adults, and it’s none of my business.

As the PP said, it is just inconsiderate and rude to expect her to pay for the trip, at least in my Vietnamese culture.[/quote]

Are you sure that's not global rich person culture?

I would not accept what looks to be a $5K vacation from a boyfriend's parents. Paying for my own ticket, sharing an AirBnB maybe. As a fiancee, I would, but not as a girlfriend.  I think there are some cultural lines.

I think there are several different strains of cultural norms among wealthy white Americans.  My background isn't the same as everyone else.  I get that.  I've seen other threads on DCUM about when do parents pay for treat vacations for SOs of their children. There are wide differences of opinion.  It's not worth getting appalled about.  You just have to understand what the norms are of the families you're dealing with.

If I had a boyfriend with an unlimited parental credit card, I'd be wondering if he came with his own funds to support that after graduation.  Or if I'd end up going halfsies on big spending out of my salary.  Or if his parents were going to use wealth to control his behavior.  I have an Asian-American BIL and my parents worried what his family would expect of my sister in line with their values.

Money norms are tricky.  This is an interesting discussion.[/quote]

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