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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."[/quote]

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not. [/quote]

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.[/quote]

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.
[/quote]

You said "I don't want the kids to feel like they have to call or ask if they can come home" but it does seem like that's exactly what you want.

Are you going to say yes, or are you going to sometimes say no? My mom lived walking distance from our school and one time I came by to grab something during lunch. The door was locked, which normally it never was, and I could hear her and her boyfriend talking. I turned around and left without knocking, and I'll never, ever forget how sad I was that day. [/quote]
Or you could have knocked on the door like a sane person and waited for your mother to come to the door. Was she supposed to live like a nun?[/quote]

I didn't do that because I didn't want her to know that I knew that she was dating and who she was dating. Because he was a married man and the father of my good friend. I chose not to force a confrontation with zero time to process it.

I don't expect her to live like a nun, but I did not appreciate being locked out of what she claimed was my own home. After this I moved in with my dad full-time. [/quote]

Oh brother...the slow trickle of more damaging information......classic DCUM

Again, nothing about your situation/reaction is normal nor does it apply to OP. Please seek additional help for your issues.[/quote]

The point is that OP may never know what her kids know about her dating life. Obstructing their access to their supposed "home" will make them want to know what she's hiding. And it can be hurtful in ways OP may not fully understand or acknowledge. It may cause them to spend less time with OP.[/quote]

No, that was you. For the third time, your reaction was not normal.

I already said multiple times that I would not be hiding from my teens if I were dating. [/quote]

I think it is normal for kids to spin out when they catch their parent cheating. [/quote]

Her parent wasn't cheating. And if that's what she short-circuited over, it's not at all relevant to OP.[/quote]

Ok, if you want to be technical my mom was an AP to the father of my friend. But still, I didn't want to be in the middle of it. And regardless, I very deeply resented being locked out, ever at all.

If you don't know who OP is dating, you don't know if it's relevant. Divorced people bang their friends all the time, and often times those friends have kids. Maybe that's why OP doesn't want her kids to come "home". [/quote]

Get help. Your damage isn't the subject of this thread.[/quote]

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