Reply to MIL cuts us off, then demands holiday access. Advice?

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[quote=Anonymous]Well OP, your MIL is my mother.
Out of a sense of guilt and family loyalty, I kept up on the relationship. It sucked up a lot of my psychic energy to figure out her moods, when was a good time to visit, etc..
As my kids became tweens I started to have to pack up and leave earlier and earlier. Once I had to leave the night after we arrived. She would do things like slam the door on my child after child said good morning, or lock child out of the house. The targets were increasingly becoming her grandkids.
My husband basically ignored her and seldom set aside time for visits with her which used to offend me but not anymore. His family usually always had planned the holidays months in advance so my procrastinating mother couldn't eke in any time. We would get into fights about family time between his or mine for the holidays. I realize now that maybe her procrastination was a way to create last minute drama. I don't know. She was just such a huge source of psychic misery. 
When my oldest child was college age, my mom really turned the victim narcissism on her and that's when I had to call it quits. 
It's one thing to condition your own child to accept such behavior but another to expect to drag your grandchildren into the pattern too. Absolutely NO thanks, I wasn't going to enable that.[/quote]

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