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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Yesterday I met a 45 year old defense contractor. I think this was probably the first time I wasn’t repulsed by a man I met from the apps. First he looked so much cuter than his photos. And he was smart!! And tall! We had a nerdy conversation about aviation and he is also apparently a pilot, which is hot!

We talked for 2 hours and it was apparent the attraction is mutual. He gave me a quick hug goodbye.

Lots of + but here’s the red flags:

[b]- he spoke of his ex wife who apparently has a personality disorder. [/b]Which…casting your ex wife as the problem isn’t great!
- teenage daughters. He seems like an invoked dad which is cute but if this got serious, dealing with teenage girls + crazy ex wife would be a lot to take on! 🫠[/quote]

People with personality disorders often end up with people with PD. borderline and narcissistic is a common pairing [/quote]

This is accurate af. Lots of co-dependent people stay in relationships with mentally unwell people, too.

Mentioning your ex on a first date is kinda gauche. Mentioning their mental health is a massive red flag. Like, dealbreakingly large.[/quote]

You are taking it too far. If you are going to be this picky then no need to date. Maybe Op brought it or it is something he thought his new dating partner should know. No big deal in my opinion. [/quote]

Seems like op would have said if she’d broached it. She didn’t [/quote]

OP here. I asked him why his marriage ended and what his contribution to it was. He said he tried everything but couldn’t deal with the personality disorder and excessive spending that lead to them being broke all the time. [/quote]

Oh, a man talking abbot ex-wife overspending is a big red flag. He likely was bean counting her cosmetics and personal hygiene purchase and spent most money on cars and maintaining a house. You get broke from being "house poor" usually, or they were not making enough money. And it was within his ability to find out her spending habits and work on finding the common ground prior to marriage.

So likely it's the indicator of an early paranoia manifesting through financial control over his partner. It will get worse as he gets older. I noticed a lot of men in late 40s-50s become hoarders and very controlling with finances, in most cases without merits[/quote]
Good Lord you have some issues.  Talk about a massive amount of assumption and projection.[/quote]

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